Dating Bits for Geeks

While reading this post about why geeks and nerds are worth it, I was inspired to write this. Being in the technology field has given me a chance to learn about the lives and habits of my fellow geeks, and this is what I have to say to you:

1. Forget about the concept of "dating" as you know it. It is not a job interview nor a face-to-face encounter, it is a human to human experience. The fellow person you have some interest in knowing more could very well turn out to be a good friend, as much as it could turn out to be a little more such as a lover. But there is no pressure for neither to happen, don't over think it.

2. There is always something good to gain from meeting another person, and that is that you get to learn about another human being in this colorful planet, we all have some unique qualities to share with the world and observe in others. So enjoy the ride : ) If you interiorize this, your genuine interest in the other person will show and bring things to an honest and comfortable ground.

3. There is always time, later, to let the other person know more about what you do, if they want to know. As geeks we have many hobbies, many interests, and are amazingly proud of all of them. This is good, because we have something to occupy our time and says "I will likely not use you to kill my mute time which is a lot of time." However, sometimes we have a tendency to pour onto the other person every bit of knowledge we have. Au contraire to what some people might think, we dont always do this as a way to show off, but because we are truly passionate about what we do. Passion is good, but leaving some for later is even better. Who we are is a mesh of the things we do and how we spend our time, but the individual pieces don't show as much as the collective. Show who you are, not what you do. This applies I think to all of our daily interactions.

4. I personally believe that meeting for dinner or a similar scenario is not the best approach to get to know a person better. Although this is one of the most common things to do, it is staged and usually sets both of you of to feel as in a job interview and act as who you are not. For those of us who enjoy the outdoors, it might be enjoyable to share a canoe down the river together or with a local outdoors club, or go fishing even if neither of you know how to fish. Teaming to do anything is a great way to indirectly learn a lot about the other person and forget about what we think the outcome of a dinner date should be. In reality, this other person is no different than a friend you met playing chicken many years ago. Demystify him/her, you, and your time together. Although it varies per person, it is best to find something to do which does not necessarily involve sitting and staring at each other.

5. We geeks are no better people than those who aren't. While it is true that we might be more compatible with those who share our interests and intellectual desires, there are many people out there with invaluable wit and interesting attributes with which we might enjoy spending time to get to know better.

6. Realize that dating is not a mystical experience. Don't meet someone because your life is boring, meet them because your life is a great journey, and they can become part of it as friends, lovers, or just another passerby that shared a little of their time with you.